So it's been maybe 9 months since I've sat down with the intention of writing something that I have felt passionate about. Not that fashion (see last post) really blows my meager mind in any way, but I was annoyed enough to at least throw in my two cents. So with that in mind, I suppose the motivation today is not so much any sort of cultural opinion or self bashing, but more just like a journal entry about some things I've been thinking about lately.
I've been playing drums in a project called Mors Mortis Machinatio for almost 6 years now, and for me that is the longest commitment I have ever had to any one specific endeavor in any aspect of my life. You could refer to our music as "face peeling", or "technical metal". Or some people may refer to it as "loud and obnoxious" or "the sound of a group of men that are really mad about something, but there is now way they will ever make a living from this".
Since my inspirations to play the oboe or piccolo fell through the cracks in middle school, the fact that I've been steered towards hitting a super expensive set of shells with wood sticks has been a blessing and a curse. Much like the Neanderthals got some sort of twisted satisfaction from clubbing a buffalo or resistant women, I find it rather cathartic to beat the shit out of something in a coordinated fashion with other people. The downside = you need to sell a kidney, your soul, a firstborn, and any family heirlooms you may have to afford to stay up to date with equipment. Unless of course, you hit like a 5 year old limp-wristed girl.
So the point that I'm glacially arriving at here is this. There are people who just love music, and appreciate the people who make an effort to create it, no matter what the genre. There are also people who still associate metal with church burnings and sacrifices to the devil. These people often eat their own hair, and think that whatever they like is the only reasonable thing for everyone else to enjoy. This blows my mind in a way, sort of like if a T-Rex climbed out of the ground and ran off into the horizon on a rainbow.
I don't have intentions to be famous, be the center of attention, or change the world with what my friends and I create musically. We write for us, and if other people get some form of enjoyment out of it, then that's just all icing on the already delicious cake that didn't need icing to begin with. If you can create something out of thin air that stimulates you to the point that you hear it when you're not playing, you get goosebumps, you fantasize about sky diving into an ocean of Pringles just to emulate the sound you are aiming for, you are doing it right. If you find other like minded miscreants who feel the same, well, huge bonus for all of you. And anyone who knows me personally, knows that I will bitch every time I sit down at my drums because all I'm seeing lately is a price tag, and not an instrument. But somewhere deep in my filled with random useless trivia answers brain, I still get that same feeling I did over 20 years ago when I hit a drum for the first time.
A word of advice from me to anyone who is afraid to share their creative side with people; In your mind, imagine what you are doing has never been done before. Ignore that you have seen or heard something similar that may come to mind. If it makes you happy and it isn't damaging anything permanently, it's perfect. Now I could also point out that this is synonymous with the crappy saying "Dance like no one is watching" version of today's "Inspirational and Motivating" posters you see in any business that you waltz into, but you get the point. I don't need people to think that I frolic through the woods nude to feel free, or host seminars about how "You are good enough and smart enough, and people like you".
Now go dance like no one is watching.................and get that hair out of your mouth.
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